did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
