new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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