She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
