dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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