brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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