does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
do herpes really smell.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
