Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
