2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize