i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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