you guys were way drunker than both of me
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
being pregnant is like rehab
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
