and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Send help, water and tortillas.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
