Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
