And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
