i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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