"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
