I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
