She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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