what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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