So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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