smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
