I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
