I'm eating all of the evidence.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Randomize
