But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Floor bacon is actually really good
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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