Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
