i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
