You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
