Slut skills are useful in every country.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
