I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
