If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
