It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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