he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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