I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
