Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I checked into jail on foursquare
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
