woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
