Cold hands, warm shart.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
