That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
