if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
