im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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