Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
then he tried to convert me to islam
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
