i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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