Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize