He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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