Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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