Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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