Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
