I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I need to calm my uterus...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
