Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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