A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
