Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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