Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
