Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
