Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Randomize
