i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
