You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
