drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Randomize
