I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
