the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
She said her name was "party"
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
