My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
