im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
